dare i dare i [open]

[*haro ((!))]

The steep, sharp cliffs of AshClan territory's Drop Canyon had beckoned a young tabby tom once again. He had so often been spotted at this place, his vivid orange shape standing at the edge. It seemed as if he jsut might spring over the side at any moment without warning. The thought had often crossed his mind, actually. Just a couple steps forward and he could be gone, just like that. He'd drawn himself so close to death before that he could curl his white paws over the jagged stone's edge.

So why couldn't he just do it?

Birchpaw found himself worthless. No she-cat could love him, they all thought he a was a freak. But perhaps that was best, for he didn't want to bring death to anyone else in the Clan. His curse had killed many a feline already. No one else needed to fall victim to his horrid existence. All the gangly tom brought to his Clan was pain and agony and loss. He was nothing, he was worthless, and he was unwanted anyway. He was unloved, and maybe it would be best if it would stay that way.

Forever...

He found himself drawing closer and closer to the cliff. He could feel how dry his paw pads were, the leathery skin cracking as he drew it over the rocky surface. He clenched his teeth as a strong, wintry wind blew, threatening to blow him over the side. It buffeted his fur, throwing shards of stone at his flanks. Birchpaw was looking into the canyon now, his dazzlingly green eyes clouding now with indecision. His forepaws were a mere mouselength from a fall to sure doom. The breeze subsided and then whipped again, harder.

He slipped, his left forepaw flying over the edge along with part of his upper torso. The right forepaw twisted underneath him. All of his claws instinctively unsheathed and dug into the ground as best they could. By some miracle, he managed to heave himself back to stable ground, his heart racing. His almond eyes were wide with fear as he panted, and Birchpaw found himself stepping further and further back.

He had nearly talked himself into it, but that little incident there had completely petrified him. No way he could rid of himself with this fear striking his heart. The Clan would have to deal with him for a little while longer. Birchpaw sighed and bit his lip, gazing out over the canyon again, his tall, gangly figure being swayed by the wind. He was so worthless that he couldn't even fix things by killing himself here and now.

Worthless, useless, nothing, hopeless, futile, dysfuntional, inept, incompetent, weak.

[hades]

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[atrb=width,400,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][bg=fbdd9f] Easternsky had been out on Dawn Patrol, and had led at least two hunting patrols since then. It was kind of nice to get away from the clan sometimes. All the hustle and bustle running around looking after apprentices, kits, listening politely to the elders, and so forth! Why everyone thought that being a deputy would be easy, was mouse brained. She didn’t find it that way. In fact she found it to be a rather annoying job, everyone wanting to suggest something, wanting to know where someone is, things like that.. ‘Well, I can’t say I blame them. I would want to know where someone is too if they went missing.’ Like Birchpaw for instance, no one had seen him since he had left the hallow sometime around early Sun-high. ‘I wonder where he is…’She wondered. Padding along quietly, Easternsky was hoping to get a little alone time to hunt. A little while later she found herself in Drop Canyon looking at the different layers of earth as the high rocks seemed to loom over her. Far off she heard the cry of a bird, hawk no doubt, and it echoed off the canyon walls. Finding the familiar path that lead to the top of one of the mighty rocks, she began to ascend carefully. Sometimes the path widened and sometimes it thinned, and whenever it did this Easternsky would take a moment to look up at the sky. Sometimes she saw small wisps of cloud and sometimes she saw nothing was the winter blue sky. Then she would carefully start her way back up the mountain. By late sun-high she managed to reach the top. But along the way she had found a very familiar scent and she was rewarded with the sight of Birchpaw, looking terrified and crouched down as far from the edge as he could manage. “Birchpaw!”She called, in her friendlyest manner, What are you doing up here? Not pulling another one of your stunts again, are you?”She knew how much Birchpaw loved to show off, and if it wasn’t to show off then it was for self pleasure. This brought back fond memories of her own apprenticeship. But she quickly dropped them as she smoothly glided up to the brightly colored apprentice. Speaking Doing Thinking "Your cat talking" {Post; 381 words} {Tags; Birchpaw} {Easternsky is AshClan Deputy, she was accepted as such by Shocky! through auditions.}

[*haro ((!))]

A sound hit the orange tabby's large triangular ears. They swiveled to better their perception, but the noise didn't quite register immediately with his mind. Birchpaw was still in a slight shock from his near-fall. He found himself blinking away his heartrate, the information from his ears finally seeping into his brain. What had she just said? She called his name, something about his stunts... Who had been talking again?

After several second of delay, Birchpaw finally managed to turn himself away fromt he ledge and rest his gaze upon the she-cat who had addressed him. Easternsky, highly regarded femme in the Clan. AshClan. Deputy. Easternsky, the AshClan deputy. The gangly tom shook his head, trying to correct his thinking pattern so that it would stop coming in such choppy short bursts. "Er, uh... Oh, Easternsky, um, hi." He found himself stumbling over his words, phrases coming out jumbled and interrupted by fillers. Again, he shook himself. Perhaps it was normal to be half-traumatized after a near-death experience, but this was something slightly normal to Birchpaw. Near-death experiences were day-by-day occurences for him.

"Stunts? No, no, not one of my stunts... And they're not just stunts, they're..." He paused. He wouldn't call them stunts, really. He was just being his daredevil self. Stunts brought about the connotation that he was doing it for show, which was untrue. It just brought some excitement into his lonely life. But that wasn't really an easy thing to explain. "Well, I guess you could call them stunts. I wasn't doing that though, I was just...enjoying the view. The colors are, uh, nice." Birchpaw motioned to the bright oranges and tans of the canyon around them, trying to divert the conversation from what exactly he had been doing. He was hardly ecstatic to admit that he had nearly committed suicide, and that (even worse) he was too cowardly to do so, even if it would be for the good of his Clan. He decided to keep that little incident to himself. It wouldn't be the first time he'd thought about ending himself, but he'd never come so close to actually doing so before.

[hades]

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[atrb=width,400,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][bg=fbdd9f] The stuttering apprentice made Easternsky smile. Birchpaw was a quire-sort, she honestly didn’t believe he knew how to act around other cats, especially She-cats. But she understood that he was a decent apprentice. Oh how she longed for one of her own again. Gorsepaw, she never looked at Gorseear as a warrior even though she treated him like one. It was difficult, for someone like her – a friendly sort – to think of an apprentice as anything else. "Stunts? No, no, not one of my stunts... And they're not just stunts, they're..."She raised her eyes to the sky and asked StarClan to bless the apprentice, and to keep her from laughing at the many breaks in Birchpaw’s speech. Every apprentice goes through something like that at least once, but for Birchpaw it seemed more than that. It seemed like a habit. "Well, I guess you could call them stunts. I wasn't doing that though, I was just...enjoying the view. The colors are, uh, nice." Easternsky didn’t know what had just happened on the cliff was part of the reason for the apprentices’ long pause. Waiting patiently she looked at the stony ground, the wintery wind buffeted her fur this way and that and she was almost knocked to one side before she caught herself, balancing once again. Then she looked at the different colors of stone. They were nice, and against a summer blue sky they were beautiful! Now they looked dull and a little lifeless. . ‘Maybe I should take Birchpaw hunting down in the valley of the Canyon.’ She thoughtMaybe then I’ll be able to queeze what he’s been doing up here besides looking at stone all day.’ “Birchpaw, let’s go hunting and see what we can find the Clan. You know life is harder these days…” Easternsky waited for the apprentices response before she set anything in stone. [Haha.] Speaking Doing Thinking "Your cat talking" {Post; 312 words} {Tags; Birchpaw}

[*haro ((!))]

Birchpaw flushed a bit as he noticed the slight amusement flicker through his deputy's eyes. He thanked StarClan for fur to cover up his slightly reddening skin. In response, he attempted to make himself look a bit less like a fool of an apprentice. He straightened his casual slouch some and stood at his full height, finding himself close to that of the femme before him. The gangly tom was quite tall for an apprentice, really. He was nearing his warriorhood, but he was a good bit taller than other cats his age.

The AshClanner was delighted to find his thoughts coming at a regular pace once more. His mind registered Easternsky's words with ease. "Birchpaw, let’s go hunting and see what we can find the Clan. You know life is harder these days…" This was true. It was known that prey was somewhat scarce in AshClan territory, despite the slowly warming weather conditions. (Warming weather conditions? He couldn't help but find his own thoughts a joke as a cold wind stung his flanks.)

"Yeah... Hunting'd pro'ly be a good idea. The, uh, Clan could pro'ly use it..." So perhaps his thoughts were normal again, but his speech wasn't. Then again, it never was. Nothing about Birchpaw was ever quite right, despite his charming smile and handsome looks. It was the general off-ness about him that seemed to repel all the she-cats in the Clan. They all knew him as the freak.

Ah well, better to live in the moment. Or at least he tried.

"So, we're, uh, going hunting then?"

[hades]

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[atrb=width,400,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][bg=fbdd9f] Easternsky nodded to Birchpaw. She took the lead and led the way back down the large rock. She kicked up dust as she walked, more like trotted, downhill, even though it was easier than going up; it also took less time going down. Every now then she would stop and turn her light-green eyes on Birchpaw to see if he was following her. At one point she figured she had lost him going around a bend and ran back quickly to check on him. But that been ten minutes ago. When she reached the end of the trail, Easternsky tasted the air for signs of prey. She was upset at the lack of prey about but she managed to scent a mouse somewhere off in the distance. Her ears flicked forward and her neck fur bristled as the cry of a canyon falcon seemed closer than it had when she first entered the rocky terrain. Sighing she tried to relive herself of the panic that was starting to rise inside of her. What if the large bird picked her up and took her away!? Or worse, picked up Birchpaw, the young apprentice with potential, and took him to be its next meal? Easternsky spun around to see what Birchpaw was up to, when she found him she was slightly relived, “I scented a mouse a little farther down that way!” Easternsky kept her voice as controlled as she could get it, “You lead the way, I’ll follow.” She wasn’t his mentor, and she couldn’t be either, not when she had Leopardpaw to deal with. ‘Mouse brained sometimes, but he’s a good apprentice…’ She thought with a light smile. Speaking Doing Thinking "Your cat talking" {Post; 278 words} {Tags; Birchpaw} {ooc|| Meh... sorry if you get writers block 'cause of me! D= }